Movie Review: The Secretary

The screenplay of "The Secretary" is written by Erin Cressida Wilson.  The short story it's based on is written by Mary Gaitskill.  As I journal key learnings for me along the path of this lifestyle, this is one of three movies that proves pivotal in my experience.

I had occasion to watch "The Secretary" in Second Life at the sim Austin Island.  

"Who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle," is a quotation from the movie that I will carry with me.  It coincides with a recent D/s discussion on "Pain" that I had attended with several new friends I've made on this particular sim.  Sir Dwight says, about pain, the following quotation which he has agreed I may use:  

From the Master's side of things, the pain of discipline and the pain of punishment bring out two completely different emotions in me. I enjoy very much disciplining. I do not enjoy punishing at all, but it's something that needs doing. It's not the pain, it's what it represents. In discipline, the pain represents a refining or "shaping". In punishment, the pain may be the same, but it has a purpose that's.....well, punitive.

And this quotation feels good, finally, sitting beside something else that Sir Dwight said:

Some like the pain, others aren't crazy about pain, but they love the submission that the pain represents.

These three quotations  are meaningful to me now in ways I had never thought I would want to feel.  I have spent most of my life afraid of pain and living in fear.  I now understand a deeper symbolism of pain "and the submission it represents".  I do not see myself as a pain whore (I have heard the term, and I think I understand the sentiment).  I view pain differently, now, thanks mainly to Sir Dwight (and thanks somewhat to James Spader and his eroticized spanking which will, without a doubt, arise in a future post in greater detail).  Pain is not to be feared.  In fact, pain may (under the right circumstances) be eroticized.  Pain may arouse pleasure.  Pain may be used to advantage.  Pain may be used symbolically.  Pain has a purpose that moves beyond terror and into the realm of desired human experience.  Which is a key learning for me.


There is more to say about this movie, especially as it pertains to gardening, shaping, disciplining, and the mutual journey towards deeper intimacy and vulnerability.