Discipline of
the self is something I regard as the combination of mind, body, spirit, and aspirations of the person into a personal completeness called "integrity". I alluded to the discipline of my "self" in the last post whereby my geisha training comes out of hibernation and I begin to apply it to my learning about D/s relationships. My already-enjoyable journey into the dark becomes even more enjoyable as a result. My core self I introduce to my fantasy self, and my personal feelings of "being real" strengthen.
In my mind, I harbor indelible thoughts. Philosophy that I hold to. Learnings that I adhere to. Information that I seek. Memories that, over time, re-create and re-adjust. Some memories, though, that fade in colour. And some that could never change due to the thrust of the original intensity. This is the makeup of my mind. The makeup of my mind contributes to my personal integrity; the extent to which I consider myself a person with integrity is the extent to which my discipline of mind maintains an equally-strong link as-and-to the rest of my parts.
That which may compromise me: impatience. If there is something worth disciplining in my mind, it is impatience. At a group discussion earlier this week on "Patience" I learned (or, rather, re-discovered) that "anxiety" feeds on "impatience," and vice versa. My chronically-anxious disposition may be disciplined by practicing the virtue of patience, in other words. The body begins the exercise and the mind acclimatises thereafter. The physical behavior of patience calms the mind to patience. And patience is a beautiful visual: water flowing over stones, nothing obstructed, nothing blocked. The physical behaviour of patience is stillness, calm. Observation. Meditation. Reading. Walking without purpose. (Being bound... being restrained... feeling cage bars surround me...) The physical behaviour of patience will bring the mental stillness of patience.
With patience, one can trust more easily. When You come, I will trust You in ways I will not trust others.
