To know and to love

This is a picture of my journey.  I wish the sim were still open, where I had taken this photograph.  Interesting to note that there was nothing to change about it.  I added a frame, my name, and called it pretty. (Sometimes the photographs that I take in Second Life are just perfect on their own.  Sometimes I feel like a good photographer, not just a good digital artist.)   I have been waiting to see what to do with this image: and now I realize, this is a picture of my submission.  I walk an unfamiliar landscape: unfamiliar, even alien-looking to what I am used to on Earth.  Some of the planks are rickety and old (values that are worn-out and under-examined for their relevance today); and some of the planks are strong and sturdy (lessons, fresh thinking, and small victories along the way that prop up the process).  In the top right quadrant, I wander.  I am in no hurry.  I look at what is around me and I learn.  Bottom right quadrant: the butterflies, the metamorphosis.  The change.  The beauty that awaits.  The bottom left quadrant: green foliage, green space, organic growth that represents life and living and the symbiosis of relationships.  Upper left quadrant:  the elegant, elaborate, carefully-constructed screen that follows me -- blocks my view of certain things, shields me from certain things, protects me from foul winds, or reveals things to me slowly at the right pace.  That shield is valuable.  It is not a hindrance.  That shield is human-constructed and elegant.

This is also a picture of my journey.   It is a picture of contemplation, experimentation, and tests.  (The toes in the water test like no other test...)  The crossed arms love like no other love.  The reflection in the water shows myself to me.  And I have learned in the last 48 hours to love, love, love the good person looking back.

Most of my journey is intellectual.  A little bit -- more and more -- is emotional.  When I began the journey, I had no idea what scope, what vast acreage of landscape, there would be to learn and explore in the D/s lifestyle.  I had no idea it was more than kneeling, devotion, and prayer that I would "be enough."  I had no idea the fulfillment would be so intense; nor the emptinesses that become more pronounced.  I had no idea that, when I finally asked, I would finally receive.  I've been told -- and it's been proven -- that I'm allowed to ask, and I'm allowed to receive, and that it's more than okay:  it's gratifying.

Serving and Pleasing

"She's a giver," a person might say about a really good hostess, especially at the holiday season.  You walk into her home; you receive exceptional hospitality; the food is surprisingly good to eat and good to look at; the wine is carefully chosen; there is a parting gift with a blessing and it makes you feel as if she was honoured to have you in her home... "Yes, she sure is a giver," you might reply.

Why does she give so much?  What is in it for her?  Why does she want to serve so well?   The excellent hostess is driven to please.  The "why" is not necessarily as important as the "fact of it" in this case:  the excellent hostess may be driven by a dominant posture (to control the flow of food and drink; to time the sequence of events for the evening; to determine the seating arrangement; to decide the games-partners; etc...) or by a submissive posture (to provide ease and leisure to her guests by preparing good foods and drink; to entertain her guests with inventive games; to divert her guests with an evening of relaxation and all the chores taken care of -- effortless dining, etc.)  But the fact is, the need to please is very private and very real.  She simply wants to please: and the effect of it is a good time for her guests.

What's in it for her?  You will remember her.  You will think about her with warmth and love.  You will consider her among the more accomplished of your acquaintances (the food is extra-ordinary... the skill is delicate and disciplined... the generosity is second to none).  You will want to return, someday.  You may, in fact, want to return the favour someday, too.  You will talk, from time to time, about what a good time you had at her gathering.  You will say, sometimes, what a thoughtful hostess she is.  You will respect her and praise her.  All these things, eventually, come true after an evening of pleasure at the hands of the excellent hostess.  And all these things, too, eventually come true if you are pleased by your submissive or by your Dominant.   What makes me talk about this?  Where did this post come from?
I just finished reading a discussion about service, and a comment therein was something like, "I have no idea why submissives want to serve; what do you get out of it?"  There were answers that involved kink and nipple-piercing which, I think, blur the fundamental drive of a human being to please another human being.  There is a drive that urges us to please other people whom we respect and love; and I don't think this drive is specific to either subs or Dominants.  I think a submissive heart serves differently from a Dominant attitude, but I know that the impulse stems from a similar place.