And More Punishment

In my previous post, I advance the argument that punishment (inflicted by the Dom upon the submissive) is not warranted except for under extreme circumstances:  circumstances that, for one reason or another, prevent the forgiveness process naturally.  My argument is that I can understand and expect the daily occurrence of correction; and I can anticipate and understand the Dom's requirement (and even enjoyment of) regular discipline of my mind and body.  But I do not expect there would be much call for punishment given a) I do not typically do things worthy of punishment, and b) whatever mistakes I have made can be rectified via the correction and discipline methods.  Punishment need never enter into it unless there is an extreme circumstance -- a circumstance under which I cannot forgive myself or, worse, my Dom cannot otherwise forgive me without meting out punishment as a cleansing process, a purgative process.  And in order for that to succeed, my Dom would have to know precisely (because I know precisely, and I have told him) what it is that would feel like punishment for me.

Now, what happens if, under some extreme circumstance that nobody could anticipate, it is not the submissive who screwed up so badly that she cannot be forgiven, but it is the Dom who screws up so badly that he cannot be forgiven?  Cannot be forgiven with the usual methods, like caring and adult conversation from heart to heart, trying to sort it out.  Because caring and adult conversation from heart to heart usually fixes things, right?  Usually.  And sometimes, it does not.  Sometimes, one party remains wounded from whatever it was that went wrong.  And if it is the submissive who remains wounded from the Dom's big-bad mistake, and if the healing process cannot proceed without a punishment-equivalent (in the same way that punishment would have cleansed the way if meted out by the Dom to the sub), then the only way forward that I can see would be for the submissive to remove her consent.  In other words, for the submissive to remove herself.  Remove her person.  Remove her consent from the "safe, sane, consensual" dynamic.  To hit the road and get some distance.

I got this idea from Sir RB whose punishment of choice (when punishment is required) is to remove himself from attending to his submissive.  Removing himself -- withholding attention -- is that which would pain his sub the most.  In similar fashion, I would argue that it is the submissive's duty to remove herself from a situation so severe that nothing short of that would begin the healing process.  Instead of "punishment," mind you, it would likely fall under the category of "preservation."   I read recently words that make perfect sense here:  a submissive (or a slave) is a human being "with the obligation of right action toward themselves and toward others.  ALWAYS."  Thank you Sir Al.  The obligation of right action towards themselves means, when the time for forgiveness is at hand but it cannot happen in the usual fashion (i.e. the heart to heart adult conversation that must, must, must happen because you respect each other and were friends first, before the shit hit the fan), then it is incumbent upon the submissive to effect a safe, sane removal of her consent.  In my opinion.

The image above, incidentally, is from another art installation which is available for experiencing on LEA6, art by Fae Varriale.  I call it an image of power, but whatever other people call it is equally valid.  I realize that in my very narrowly-focused viewpoint about punishment and relationships, the vast spectrum of power dynamics at play in every single human relationship out there in the world is beyond the scope of the point I'm trying to make.  I realize, too, that I look at D/s relationships (certainly my future one with You, Sir, whenever You propose it is time) as a form of justice, when that is not a necessary condition of human relations.  Right action speaks volumes to me.  Right reason.  Right and wrong.  To me, not necessarily to others.  And, sometimes, it's not about right and wrong... sometimes it is the very definition of "arousing" for a Master to use his power simply because he can.  Sometimes.  Maybe it's not about right and wrong.  Maybe it's just about power.  And power is exchanged somehow:  it is never destroyed.