Things happened yesterday.
The things that happened yesterday connect to tomorrows that have not yet happened. Like chain links.
Yesterday was a continuation of Thursday. Thursday and Friday were two halves of the same scene, one inside and one outside. One horizontal and one vertical. How do I feel? I could not have predicted any of it; I could not have foreseen; I could not have anticipated. And it doesn't matter because I was enough, and how I feel about that is elated. I was equal to your needs, I was equal to your requirements, and I, just by being me, was enough. That feels more than good, God of all things beautiful and charged. I'm not sure there is a word for how that feels. Feeling as though I am enough, just for being me.
Yesterday, the bubble of intimacy closed around us. My instant messages were turned off and my voice-mic occupied. The bubble of intimacy closed around us and my focus was proven, my devotion demonstrated. The bubble of intimacy is more important to me than even my own skin, and it feels (to me) that when IT is protected, I am protected. When IT is dominated, I am dominated. When IT has your lock and key upon it, I do. I wish only that there were more means of access to me now so that I could offer them to you for closing and sealing. My instant messages remain off, and my intimacy is connected now to one man's power. Connected and controlled. I feel a charge of thrilled excitement just thinking about it, and it makes me feel more than good whenever I do think about it.
This is what security feels like. This is what I want. I beg, more.
No comments:
Post a Comment