No limits

After something intense and physical, a demonstration of the bond we share, something I was not expecting and something that awakened me to new levels of connection and new levels of understanding, he asks me, "I did not shock you, did I?"

No, of course not.  Yes, you totally shocked me. Both are perfectly true, and I love it.  But of course, they answer two separate questions.

The real, first question yesterday was whether I was alright, and so my answer is yes, I really am.  I am not shocked; I am alright.  The question that resonates now, though, in the aftermath, now that I'm thinking about it, now that I am awake and refreshed from a good sleep, now that I have eaten and worked and bathed and taken care of the home, that second question is much deeper: even though I am alright, am I affected?  Did I change?  A much different answer:  I am definitely affected.  It affects me.  Yesterday really affected me.  And I feel changed.  And that was the whole point of this journey:  and I want more.  

* * *
Since I began this journey at the beginning of the year, I have come to the following conclusions about limits:
1.  When you are with someone new, limits are your best friend.  Make them strong, and make them hard.  They will, in turn, serve you as they prove yourself and prove your intended.  Treasure those people who defend your boundaries and encourage your boundaries, for they are true friends.

2.  When you are with someone more intimate than "new," limits are your barometer.  You choose whether or not you wish to test those limits and grow out of them, depending on the nature of your intimacy and the depth of your respect for each other.  Your limits may still remain strong, even if one person is allowed to approach them more easily than others.  And perhaps, not just approach but also alter.  Perhaps.  If you decide.

3.  When you are with the right person, and you both know that you can rely upon each other as though you were directly responsible for the daily breathing of each heart and the daily feeding of each soul, there is no such thing as limits.  You both want the same thing, and there is nothing else to want for.  Where you end and where he begins, there is hardly even a boundary separating you.  Intimacy itself becomes a boundary that you both create, and everything else lives outside of it while you both live safe, together, inside.  Doing whatever you want.  Knowing that you both are safe.  Safe as hearts.  That is, at least, how I feel.  I love this feeling.

* * *
"At the bell tower" is the 100th post for One of Many Petals.  "No limits" begins the next hundred, and we begin it together, Tasdron and I, with all of my gratitude and love.  My exquisite submission, my great love, my perfect dreams and never-ending story.