Submission, Rights, and Ethics

One more from Miss Steel's private chamber, since I've been studying today with great interest.

This article is about negotiating.  "Many submissives," it says, "long to vacate all their rights, and they express the desire to do whatever the Dominant tells them.  Some even feel that if they are in any way non-submissive they will no longer be desirable to the Dominant.  This concept of 'non-submissive' is growing in popularity and is often identified as a submissive who is forthright, honest, and open in her opinion or beliefs.  Some believe that a submissive should never disagree with 'any' person identified to them as a Dominant, that such behaviour of disagreement is indicative of a poorly-behaved non-submissive."  Ye gods.  "This type of catch-22 ideology," it goes on to say, "encourages people to return to policies of silence by intimidation or judgment, or the non-truthful communication so prevalent in vanilla society -- policies most within the BDSM communities have attempted to overcome."


I think I understand pretty clearly, now, the difference between a roleplay slave and a BDSM submissive.  I think it's pretty clear that I should be forthright about my values, not my limits, the next time I enter into negotiations.   Values are a good thing to consider right now.

Values:
- I value bone-dry honesty, blurting before thinking.
- I value examination of that honesty, taking time to consider what we're saying really.
- I value eye-contact and facetime, undistracted.  Not 100% of every day -- in fact, not even close.  I can't handle all that attention.  But when it's "us time", nobody else intrudes.
- I value my solitude so that I can process things.  I can't be in a constant state of receiving: I need processing and output time.
- I value my privacy, your privacy, and our shared time.
- I value the time I have invested in learning about respect, honesty and integrity; the differences between Play and Reality; the differences between Submission and Slavery; the differences between Doms and Masters; and the differences between my submission and everybody else's submission.
- I value the time I have invested preparing myself so that I will be worthy.
- I value a man's honour (whatever it is that makes a man thoughtful, considerate, polite, chivalrous, clean, talented, skilled, and disciplined).
- I value my own practiced ethics.