Connection: Leashing Across Vast Distance

Today was a day of connections.  I have spoken to my favourite people today, and very good work is accomplished.  (I do work, in fact, a great deal in Second Life.  It is not all shopping and gossip!  I work hard.  I meet with people.  I focus my attention on things bigger than myself.)  It was a day of connections today.  Among the chief pleasures is to know that my application at J2D is moving forward (in only 24 hours!).  I have said the name Klaudia in recent writing, but I would like to credit her with more than just a pretty vision: she writes a thoughtful and inspirational blog.  Vulnerable is a valuable read.  I link especially to my favourite post, wherein she writes about her mare, Mimi.  Klaudia said to me, today, that I "give meaning to ordinary things" which is precisely what I love about her own blog.  D/s as a lifestyle comes alive for me when I see things through her lens.  It makes me want to feel, also.

And feel I did.  I confessed something important, and something that makes me vulnerable, today to another of my favourite people.  I took a deep breath and confessed the thing I had not spoken before.  And then "the thing" became "a few things" and I had to reel it in before I got carried away.  But I confessed to someone safe, someone protective.  I confessed something that made me realize:  there is an invisible leash, and it is called confession.

Anxieties, sadness, confusion.  The storm and fire in my mind, a maelstrom inside me that I cannot tell anybody. Skies fire and smoke, orange and black, above me.  But, this connection -- this confession -- to somebody safe, somebody protective, somebody who understands (or if not, at least takes the time to listen and try to understand...) it is a gentle, still hammock, blanketed and tied securely.  Built for two, strong enough to hold.  "I miss the leash," I moaned, the heart of the matter.  I missed the connection.  And then I learned, at that very moment, that the leash is simply a visual metaphor for the connection of vulnerability between one soul and another soul.  The leash is a really awesome visual metaphor... I do miss it. But after my heartfelt confession; after the tornado of feelings in my head and in my heart funnelled into a focused and coherent expression of my need; after I felt like I was heard...  Oh the peace.  When I bared my soul, and when I made myself vulnerable, I felt connected.

(Please note: it works only when you're with somebody safe, sane, and wholly awesome.)

We are separated by continents, all of us at J2D (and at The Gateway to BDSM, where I took this incredible picture).  We have such great physical distance between us that it would be impossible if not for art and electricity to connect as we do.  The connection is powerful and I feel, now, under the great swirling, fiery sky, in the sweet comfort of a rocking hammock, part of something wonderful.